Saturday, February 19, 2005

Random Rants and Solemn Soliloquies

solil'oquy, n.
1. A talking to one's self; a talking or discourse of a person alone, or not addressed to another person, even when others are present.
2. A written composition, reciting what is supposed a person speaks to himself.

rant, v. i.
To cry out, to shout, to sound, groan, murmur; To rave in high sounding or extravagant language, without corresponding dignity of thought; to be noisy and boisterous in words or declamation; as a "ranting" preacher.
"Look where my ranting host of the garter comes." ____Shakespeare.

rant, n. High sounding language without dignity of thought; boisterous, empty declamation; as the "rant" of fanatics.
"This is a stoical rant, without any foundation in the nature of man, or reason of things." ____Atterbury.

ranter, n. A noisy talker; a boisterous preacher. (All definitions are from Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary.)

Having set the tone (?!) for this venue, we now launch forth into the rarified ionospheric regions of the ozone layer between my ears. This is my first post (ever). Blame the ozone layer, blame the younger generation... yeah, it's my son's fault... I got this idea from him. Yesterday I could not spell "webblogger"... Today I is one. I confess... it all started a year ago when I bought a 17 inch PowerBook G4 (having never used a computer before). The first day, it was like "OK, now what am I going to do with this thing besides listen to music and watch the cool iTunes visuals?" Within a week, I was editing video and burning DVD's on the little beast. It does everything flawlessly. Photo editing, audio, video ...it even runs Microsoft (Ugh!) software in Virtual PC 6. Not that anybody really needs Microsoft, although Office:Mac 2004 is kinda cool. Don't need Virtual PC to run that. My world went through a quantum shift... Where was I before I got off on this rabbit trail? Oh yeah...

I checked out "justintosh"'s blog. Yeah. He's The Kid. (Parenthethetical statement of a proud Dad: "He's a good kid & I'm proud of him.") Actually he's one of 7 "kids"... but, I digress. The Kid says, "It's so easy to set up a blog." I says to myself, "I have a vague idea of what a "blog" is, but I've never seen one." You gotta "unnerstan" folks, I never touched a computer in a carnal fashion until a year ago. Didn't know what to do with a mouse. Since then, I've been too busy editing audio, photos, and video to have time to do more than wonder momentarily "what's a blog?" So I clicked on the link he so handily provided in his email yesterday and looked at his new blog. Says I to Myself, "I think I can do that." I guess we (Myself and I) will soon see. The Mind of The Mudslinger is versatile, fascile, and adaptive. Oh, in case you're wondering, "Mudslinger" is a veiled reference to my chosen means of obtaining rent and grocery money. "Mud" is mortar. I lay brick and stone for a living. Hence the slang expression "Mudslinger".

Anyhoo... "justintosh" (The Kid) and I are (yeah, you probably figgered this out already, but I just have to confess what is considered terrible heresy in the far reaches of "Windoze World") rabid, proselytizing, ranting Fundamentalist Mac-lovers. The Microsoft Secret Police have us on their Most Wanted list. Is heresy a cardinal, or venial sin? Either way, I suppose it doesn't matter. The heretic hunters from The Holy Office are Out There, slinking about with faces darkly veiled under monastic hoods bearing the imprimatur of Microsoft.
There, there, ...craigintosh feel better now. Maybe those poor souls slavishly bowing down to Microsoft will someday see the light. This is the "year of The Tiger" (veiled astrological reference) ! Tiger is the soon-to-arrive new OS from Apple. Apologies to all those astrologers out there in WinHell... (oops, I mean "using Wintel"). Tiger will eat Bill Gates' Longhorn w/TC for breakfast... if he ever finishes development and succeeds in foisting it upon his blind sheep. Apple vill rule da vorldt! End of rant. Yah! Hi, Justin!

3 comments:

Justin Lowery said...

Hey dad, it's me, Justin. I'm typing this on a beast of a machine...er...beauty, or whatever. Anyway, a PowerMac G5 at the video editing studio where I've been interning/volunteering lately. Gotta love the rants. Windows users: you probably think he's completely insane. As a Mac user for good reason, I'd have to say everthing he said is right on the money. Anyway, yeah, I've been on the Mac for three years after six of slaving away on horrid little windows-running-demon-machines. We aren't crazy about this platform stuff for nothing. Ta ta for now. -Justin

Anonymous said...

ta ta?

Craig Lowery said...

Trust me... The Kid isn't queer. :)
The Kid's Dad